My Two Cents on Battle the Witches
by Lilah Wolfe
Summary: The second instalment of my commentary on the Prayer Warriors. Now in the Harry Potter section. This story contains offensive meterial on his part and an attempt at humor on my part . If you don't want to read, just walk or click away.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everyone! I cannot believe that I'm starting my second commentary on this series. But I enjoy doing it, so I shall continue. One last thing: I recognize that not all Christians are this mental. I do no hate Christians, in fact, I have many Christian friends. I just hate these guys, for slaughtering good stories, hating on Atheists, homosexuals, Jewish people, and the rest of the non über conservative, Obama hating Christians. I don't care what you believe, as long as you give everyone else respect. Enjoy.**

Hi, I am Michael, and I am a prayer warrior. I was sent by my teacher Jerry, the main character in the other story, which follows a group of Christians who fights against the evil Gods of the Greek. I was sent here to England to bring them back to the one true path, and that is true our lord Jesus Christ. My target was Hogwarts, and Stanic school that still allows Witches and Wizards to exists, truly evil servents of a lorf. _(Was there any reference to any theology in any of the Harry Potter books? Any of them?)_

Before I went, Jerry said to me, "My follower, dear friend Michael of Christ, I have given you this job so that you can prove to the world how great Christ is,_ (These stories aren't helping your cause)_ and he is the only true path. I want you to go undercover into Hogwarts and pretend to be a wizard. You are not to preform any form of magick _(you are probably a muggle anyways)_ as it is sin before our lord and savior Jesus Christ, eternal son of the only God. Instead, I want you to find out if there is corruption between the English government and Dumbledore, Hogwarts's twisted and sick head teacher, who allows Witches and Wizards to worship Satan and preform dark rituals such as dancing naked in front in the rain sos that it made Christians die._ (I'm not following your logic any better than your friend's)_ We must work out how to stop this from happening, for it is sin to murder someone like this!

"For this to be successful, I need you to go to there train station in London, and walk through a wall. Be carefully, for this is a creation of Satan._ (Satan made walls? Run Wall!)_ However, God will forgive you for using these stuff, for it is for the betterment of the Christian empire. _(Since when were you guys an empire?) _When you enter, pretend to be like them, but do not do any spells, for it is sin against God, but he allows you to pretend to be a wizard, for it is for the betterment of us all. But beware, if you are to be forced to read a book, or a potion, or a spell, think to yourself a prayer: 'I am sorry God, for I have sin. I had not control over such doings, but it was for the betterment of all Christians, for it will destroy my cover if I refused to do so. Pleased Forgive me for all my sinful acts. Amen'. And so say that, and God will be forgive you. But you must read the Bible every day, for it is a sin to forget Gods words. Do not full into temptation or you will burn in the eternal flames of hell!" _(What will you be bumming?)_

And so I went onto the plane, but as I was on it, I did prayed, for I need to bull strength, for I was to be tested. I also read the Bible, with the Book of Matthew, for Jerry ordered me dodo so. And then I got off the plane. I went to the train station, and I walked through the Static wall. Then I was a Satan Train, which was made of bones of death Christian martyrs, _(they did not show that in the movies)_ who died in an epic battle against Godwarts many years ago, when it was banned to be a Witch and the Holy Catholic Church control of the England. Then England rejected God, and started to worship a false god, Henry the eight, the Satanic fool!

And so I went onto the Train, and I came across Ginny, one of the witches._ (Run Ginny!)_

**As always, please review? And, as this needed to be said: Narwhal. That is all.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi! I`m Noah, Tomas`s brother. _(Hi Noah, I'm a sarcastic teenage girl who will comment on this story) _ Please stop giving him death threats that just makes you look bad. Please stop it!_ (I have to agree. If you are going to yell at someone or mock them, do it with some class)_**

I stopped and stared at Ginny. My hands started to shake, and I had to sit down. I looked at her ginger hear. _(Ginge!)_ She looked pretty hot, _(No. Just, stop)_ but I decided to put such impure thought out of my mind. She started to pat my back, and I stood really still. How dare someone touch someone out of wedlock!

"Never seen you here before," she asked. "Want to take a poison _(Were you referring to a potion? They are two different things)_ I have just made. It will make you feel better."

This made me sicker. How dare she give me such as satanic drink? I remembered Jerry`s warning. She was only offering me something, so I was able to refuse. So I said no.

"Ok," she said. "It is your choose. I would have taken it though. This is going to be a long train trip. And we need to get change into our uniform."

I decided to take this as a chance to get some insight into what is happening in Hogwarts. I thought to myself what question I was going to ask her. After pondering it for a bit, I quickly said my question.

"So, what is Dumbledore like," I asked her. I wanted to know a little bit about him if I was going to find out what type of relationship he has with the British government.

"He is a very great man. He lets us get away with a lot of stuff, such as staying up late at night, and even allows us to take harmful drugs such as pot. _(If you are going to bag on a drug, pick Coke, Crack, or Heroine. Pot is bad, but these are exponentially worse.)_ And he has a very long beard, which makes him look even more wicked and evil_ (Beards aren't evil. Chuck Norris has a beard. You should hope he doesn't read this.)_," she told me. Her information was very informative.

"Yes, being wicked is great," I lied. I know that lying is a sin, but because I need to build trust between me and Ginny, I was forced to do so. "And I like to be evil." _(To the dark side of Slytherin you go!)_

"I am glad you are in support of us witches and wizards. We need as much support as possible," she said. I become very interested.

"What type of support?" I asked.

"We are not allowed to talk about that in public," she said. So I stopped at that. By that point we had go to Hogwarts.

**Sorry about the shortness but I 1ealize I have school work to do (I am home schooled by the way). But Tomas will be back for the next chapter. **

_**These short chapters bug me. I hope they will supply me with some longer chapters soon. Did anyone realize this guy kind of knows Harry Potter? Did he read it? Just some food for thought. I do not own Harry Poter.**_


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm afraid the brother had better grammar. Now back to the illiterate drool. **

I like to thank my brother for righting the last chapter, his chapter was very well written, and very muk in the Christian way. I will continue for now. My borther is writing a story as well and will go onto this Healy sight when it allows him to do so.

And so I walked down the path from the twain station that lead to the school which was build with bricks from knocked down churches, _(I highly doubt that)_ done in the time to Henry the eighty when he distroyed all the churches and replace it with his own stanic churches! And so I went into the school and noticed bones of martin fly about. This mad me sick. Ginny lead me to the main hall, which had drugs all on the tample, and people were smoking pot. _(Once again, this was not in the movies) _Dumbledore was whipping a boy_ (I thought they put the wip away)_ for praying to God, for Hogwards was a an revile school! This mad me even more scared for I new I couldn't do any praying to our lord Jesus Christ, but because I was forced to do this, it was ok.

"Hello students," said Dumbledraw. "I am gloat you came to this school for it is protected from the christian world, were corrupt evil governments allow us to stay alive. I like to hail stan _(Ample parking day or night, people shouting howdy neighbor. Yes! I get to continue the song.)_ for he was really great. Repeat after me:

_Satin is great  
God is not  
We will be evil  
And they will waste_

"Wasn't that a great song? We will have to sing that everyday," he said. This made me sick, but because they were forcing us to this, I had to do it. I simply prayed to God after singing that "I am sorry God, for I have sin. I had not control over such doings, but it was for the betterment of all Christians, for it will destroy my cover if I refused to do so. Pleased Forgive me for all my sinful acts. Amen" but I said it really softy so that no one could hear me, for I knew I was the only Christian in this stannic weevil _(Anyone have Captain Jack's mobile?) _ school!

And as I went to my room, a girl cam up to me. "Hello follow Christian, my name is Ebony _(No no no no no!_ and I am to work with you on the mission to rid this evil school. Jerry has told you to read the Book of Ruth for it will boiled you strength."

And is aid "THankyou for that winsome. That will keep ne wrong! I will see you tomorrow"

I went back to my rome and I read the Bible, for it need to build my strength up. I made sure that no knew I was reading the bible. And then I went to sleep, for I knew I ad a early morning tomorrow.

Stop telling me to delete my story. I wont at all! This is a great stoary and it wont be deleted at all! And idiocy, please stop reviewing my story, as your reviews make no sense. _(Neither do you.)_ Amen.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi, sorry I wasn't able to update yesterday, but schoolwork called. I'm not sure how much I can post today though, I went through a near death experience today (I'm not kidding, a 6 pound metal ball was accidently hurled at my head) and I am exhausted. Oh, and thewolfdemon is a guy, not a girl. My bad.**

**Just stop reviewing this fanfiction if you don't like it. We are only just warning you of the dangers of sinning. God will punish you unless you become a Christian. How simple is that? Why must you persecute us Christians? All you atheists suck! And Ebony is a Christian, not a Satanist ok! _(If she's the one from My Immortal, she is a Satanist)_ She has been named after a friend of mine. And Thomas is not a troll, and neither am I! _(He is; you, we shall see.)_**

I woke up with a shock, an electric shock. New comers at Hogwarts have pranks done on them, to make them angry and then tempt them into being evil, and pranking other people. _(Or, it's done to the newbie everywhere. It's tradition)_ It really hurt me, and made me really sore. I prayed to God that they he would punish them at the final judgement. I had to endure this torture and know that my task will save the world from an evil willing enough to kill us all.

At potions class, the teacher taught us about making bombs._ (Could you see Snape in a terrorist outfit? Neither can I)_ I learnt that the Hogwarts was planning to attack something, but I was not too sure what, I was sure it was a church but I wasn't too sure. I needed to know more information on it before I acted against them. At the moment I blended in, by pretending to make a bomb, but really I was doing the potion all wrong. No one noticed me at all, and did not question if I was a Christian or not.

At spell class, we learn about a spell that made people faint. All though this might seem harmless; the teacher told us we can use this on unsuspecting Christians to fall off bridges and other dangerous places. They also taught us spells which made people have heart attacks. _(Are we talking Harry Potter or Death Note?) _Everyone was saying Hail Satan, but I refused to say so, because it would look bad in front of God at the last judgement, and no one was forcing me to say anything. I mumbled the words, so that the spell didn't work. No one noticed I did so.

And at the break time, I went to the library to find out information on any attacks that are planned on the Christian world, but there wasn't any information. I knew I had to find a way into Dumbledore`s office, which would have very top secret information which even the students of Hogwarts would even know.

So I look for Ebony. When I found her, I told her of my plan. "I want to get into Dumbledore's office for there is secret information I want to get. I don't know how to get in there though. I think I need your help Ebony, the secret follower of the son," I whispered to her. Secret follower of the son was a secret code name for Jesus Christ, so that none of the students could find out about our plan to get rid of Hogwarts. _(Because that isn't obvious at all)_

"Met me on the school fields tonight, and then we will plan. There are a few people that want to meet you, and they want to help you out," Ebony told me, making sure that no one else hears. "Come alone, and bring no one else. We don't want to be caught out."

"Yes, ok, I will do that," I said.

So at night I went to field. I met up with Ebony, and I followed her, while we talked about Christ and how wonderful he is. She nodded in agreement. And then we came to a small hut, and then we entered. Inside was a giant.

"This is Hagrid, a secret follower of Christ. He once practised magic, but now he has stopped. _(He messed up, not his fault. Don't bring him into this) _But he wants to help us out, because he wants Hogwarts to be knocked down, and replace with a cathedral," Ebony told me. I was very glad about that. Once Hogwarts was defeated, how could such evil stones still exist? _(Easy. Ever meet a Weeping Angel?)_ A cathedral was a good idea, and could not wait to see what it would look like.

"So", I asked, "How do we plan to get into Dumbledore?"

"This is the only way you can do it. You must date one of the witches, earn their trust, and they might help you get into Dumbledore`s office," she told me. I realised that I must get closer to Ginny,_ (Poor Ginny)_ which I didn't want to, but because I was forced to do so God would forgive me.

"I know what I have to do then," I told her. Ebony nodded pleasingly, and Hagrid was happy that Hogwarts was one day closer to being destroyed.

**Everyone, please read me new Fanfiction, which is on my own account, Noahmania**


	5. Chapter 5

AS I have finished my other story, I will continue writing this. I like to thank Ebony Brown who one of the characters in my story is named after for proofreading my lovely inspiring story. And Noah, you story is full of lies. Running away from God will only lead to bad things. Satan has lied to you. _(Go Noah!)_ Repent now or pay the price! And if you do not like this story, stop reviewing it!

I walked about of Hagrid`s hut and went back to Hogwarts. As I was walking down the field one of wizards came up to me. He had blonde hair and bright green eyes. He was wearing green.

"I want to talk to you about something," he asked. "I heard that you are a Christian. My name is Draco and I am interested in becoming Christian. I want to give up being a Satanist _(Only in My Immortal)_ and follow the way of our lord and savior Jesus Christ, so that I don't burn in the eternal flames of hell. I will join you army and be a shoulder to the lord."_ (Why Draco? You're supposed to be the bad guy! Be bad!) _

"Then follow me than," I told Draco. So I went to the lake and Draco followed me. And so I baptized Draco in the name of our lord Jesus Christ. He promised not to practise any evil witchcraft ever again. I was happy because this was one victory to Jesus and God.

And I asked him, "Could you get me a date with Ginny, for I need to use her to get into Dumbledore's office, for there are plans in there that could be an attack on us Christians. I really need your help."

Draco said, "Yes I can. I use to date her a year ago, _(Eww. When did this happen?)_ and she will be willing to talk to you. But be careful, her and her friend Harry Potter and Ron are the most satanic people in the school. _(Don't be mean to the gingers!)_ Be careful around them for they are very dangerous."

I said, "I will be careful around them. But I do need their help. I will need to come up with a good reason to get into Dumbledore`s office."

Draco said, "I will think about it and tell you when I come up with an idea an tell you it, for it would be serving the glory of our lord Jesus Christ, and it will save me and God will forgive me, and I will go up to heaven for all eternality."

I said, "Feel free to go to the service on Sunday at Hagrid`s house. But be secret about it for the static scum here would kill us all if they found out about it."

And then I went to my room and read the Bible, in which I read the first 4 chapters of the Gospel of Mark, and then I read the book of Ruth and how dedicated she was to her husband. And then I preyed to God for forgive for I had sinned that day. And God forgave me sin and told me that Jerry and Percy had killed all the evil false gods in America, but Satan had come to England. But he also told me that he was sending Jerry over to help me out. And so I went to bed. Amen.

**Feel free to hit the review button. It only takes a few seconds and makes me incredibly happy. **


	6. Chapter 6

I am not going stop this story as I not breaking no rule. If you atheistic scum don't like this, get out of this Christian nation! _(Everyone hates these stories, not just Atheists)_ I am pretexted under freedom of speech! _(Eh… no.)_ And I am not a troll, I am a rationale Christian person who has realized how evil atheism is and how it should be illegal in America,_ (freedom of religion, or lack thereof)_ and we should tackle on Witchcraft, especially in England where its very much practise. I like to thank Ebony Brown for proofreading this, and she is a real person _(Ok, when the name Ebony, Enoby, Ebory,Enony, Ebondy, Enony, Evony, Ibony, Enobby, Egogy, Eboby, Enopby, TaEbory,_ _Tata, Tara, Ebony Darkness Dementia Tara Way) _ Idiosy, don't you dare insult me ever again with you comments, they are not welcome here! And Noah, you are a fool trying to ask God for forgiveness, for as long as you consult with Atheist you will burn in hell! _(Doesn't God love everybody?)_ And don't you dare tell me how to treat people! Only God can tell me that, and he has told me to rid the world of all nonbelievers! And if you get in the way, I will destroy you as well. Jesus Christ is my Savior, Lord and guidance across this forsaken land, I have been sent forth to cleanse the world of all ins and make it return to the paradise it was when it was first created. And everyone can be a Christian and be saved! And we will all live in peace! Amen ad amen!

I went to my potions class and I pretended to make the potion, but rely I was trying to chat Ginny up. She was talking to a friend of her about how great Stan (_Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind)_ was and how it let them get away with anything, including murder, lying, and stealing things that weren't there's. _(That's redundant)_ This made me feel sick inside but knew that I had to ask her out no matter how wicked she was so that I could use to her to get into Dumbledore's office and get his plans and use it against him so that I can defeat the evil witches and wizards. _(Can the good ones stay?)_ The teacher did not noticed that I had not made any potions and that was because the teacher was deaf dumb and blind, _(Don't be mean to Snape)_ caused by worshiping Satan too much.

I went up to Ginny and said, "Do you want to go out? I want to learn the ways of Satan and much of your ways as possible," I lied, but because this was to aid God, he would forgive me. "I come from a place where Satanism is not allowed, and it can be punished by death," this time I told her the truth, but didn't say that I was secretly a Christian, for if she found out she would surely kill me.

And she said, "Yes, I will go out with you. I like to take things quickly."

I quickly said, "I like to do things slowly."

And she said, "If you wish. Come and met me in my room tonight. I have things to tell you. I will teach all there is to know about Stan _(You do __not__ want to know the words Kenny says)_ and his evil ways. All hail Satan!" This comment made me sick, but I had to go with it so to please God and find out about Satan's plan to kill a group of Christians.

I then went to sell class where I learnt that the switches and wizards were learning about blowing things up with say satanic words which I wont say here because I don't want to teach you atheistic satanic scum (_Atheists don't believe in God or angels, even the fallen ones… but we may make an exception for Castiel, and maybe Gabriel)_ how to do magic, _(But we want to learn)_ for it is satanic evil and will be punished with the eternal flames of hell. If you want to be saved, burn all your witchcraft books, including Harry Potter, _(Which is fictional) _and then God will forgive you!

I then went to Hagrid`s class and he taught me secretly how to kill a magic breast _(Wizard boobies, the cousins of the other ones last story)_ without using wizardry. We also secretly read psalm and prayers and songs to the glory of God and his eternal son our lord Jesus Christ. And then I went to Ginny`s room.


	7. Chapter 7

Idoisy stop reviewing my story. If you don't like it stop reviewing it. Your hateful disgusting comments are not welcome here. I am not going to delete this story or my other story for they are not breaking any rules! And this is not offensive, I am telling the truth, Christianity is being lost in England and must be cleanse of all nonbelievers so that can be prepared for the return of our lord and savior Jesus Christ, and so he can give his eternal judgement apron _(Kiss the Cook)_ us. If a few don't believe than the entire nation is punished for letting it continued. It is a sin to ignore such evil things to continue! And that is why I am trying to cleanse my brother of the demons that has lied to him. He has consulted with Satanic atheists _(oxymoron_) and they have tricked him into believing that my beliefs are lies. God will punish him! God has told me that Jesus is coming _(careful of schizophrenia)_ and we have to be reedy! Repent now or you will be punished with the eternal flames of hell! He is retuning. Amen and amen! Thankyo Ebony Brown for proofreading this story. God will bless you for helping on his followers convert the world to the Christian way. Amen.

And so I went to Ginny`s room. Before she let me in she told me this, "I have other guest as well, who sneak into my room each night and do satanic rituals. Their name is Harry Potter and Ron Weakling, who are gay lovers." _(I knew it!)_ This comment made me sick, but I knew I had to continue. Once I find Dumbledore`s plans I could punish these sinners with the only thig they deserve: Death and being sent to the eternal flames of hell!

I said, "I understand. Now let us enter and talk," I said. I decided to play along because I wanted to find out as much information about them so that I could us against them, and being to give reason to publish them. And so I went into the room and saw Harry and Ron laying on the bed. They were reading the Satanic Bible _(does that exist?)_, which also made me sick as it was mocking Christianity and God, and if I could get away with it I would have got the book and burnt it in front them and punished them for their wrong doings, but because it would reveal my cover I decided not to burn the book and punish them for their sins and evil doings! But I decided that one day I would punished them!

And Ginny said, "I every now and then do satanic rituals with Harry every now and then because we are both Bisexuals, meaning that we have sex with both boys and girls, but I don't do it with Ron because it is incest. Even Satanists have standards." _(That's good to know)_

I wanted to go, so I said, "I have homework. I will talk to you latter," for it was making me very unconformable. And so I went back to my room and went to bed. I read the Bible ion which I read the book of Kings and how Israel went satanic and how God punished them for doing so. I prayed to God that they would do the same. And God told me that Jerry would advise tomorrow. Amen.

To all those real Christian, my prayers go to you. Hopefully this story will strengthen you.


	8. Chapter 8

Going to Riverside tomorrow for the day, so I wont be able to write a chapter tomorrow. _(Woot!) _To all those think I am a Satanist, you are very much wrong, I am the most truest Christian here, and God will not put with any of your lies! You will sorely be punished! Bee hold God`s merciful wrath! Amen. And Ebony is a real person!

And so it was Sunday and Hagrid had asked me to do the weeks reading, so I studied the Bible for a good hour or so planning my speech and what I was going to talk about, which I was tied between Christ resurrection or the ten commandments, but I decided on how two wolfs killed 42 children for mocking the lord`s profit, _(I gotta say, this is pretty bad ass.)_ and why it is needed to punished those who mock us, such as Atheists, Hindus, Muslims, and Buddhists. _(Do Buddhists indult anyone? Ever?)_ I also planed to talk about the travels of Peter, for Jerry was very interested in the book of ACTS, which derails the travels of Saint Peter and Saint Paul across the roman empire and converting away everyone from the evil false gods of the Greeks _(By that point, they are Roman)_ which Jerry managed to kill in the other story with Percy Jackson, _(No! Apollo! Artemis!)_ who was busy helping his church out to come, but Jerry had turned up though, along with his girlfriend Mart.

And so I went to the church meeting which was in Hagrid`s house. A about a few hundred secret Christians tuned up. _(Isn't that most of the school?)_ So I went up front and opened my mouth, "Behold I speak to now is a berry impartment issue, which is must be stop. Many of your fellow students are practise sins against our lord and savior Jesus Christ. They are having same gender sex and having open relationships. It was once told in the Bible that God sent two wolfs _(I have found the only other part of the bible I enjoy. Read the guys guide to life and look for the palm trees for the other one)_ to kill a group of people that mocked one of God`s profits. The same thing will happen to these atheistic Satanists. _(I can grantee that not one of those exists. By definition, it's impossible)_ God has sent me and Jerry to go undercover into your school and find information on an attack by Dumbledore. And once we work his plan we will kill him and anyone practising atheistic rituals. And it will be a great day."

And Hagrid came up to speak, but people started booing him because was a teacher. He started to cry because he really wanted to speak, so Ebony got up and said, "Let the man speak. He has much knowledge will be very useful in our time of need." So they let him speak.

"I may be a Hogwarts teacher", he yelled loudly, "but I`m also a Christian!" And everyone cheered.

And then Jerry went up and taught us some of his wisdom, "I can declare to you now that the evil gods in the United States of America have been defeated and everyone there is free of Satan grip. But as a warning, he is now hiding here and I fear Dumbledore might know where he is hiding. _(I'll give you a hint: It used to be in Sam's mind, but now he is in Castiel)_ With the help of all of you we will be able to find Satan and remove him from England and make it return to the true Catholic way. We will remove the static Queen and her greedy family_ (who are werewolves)_ from power and replace it with a conservative democratic system much like in America, and we will outlaw atheism, witchcraft and liverish. Behold the truth way!

"For here is another teaching I told my own church back in the United States of America to my Prayer Warriors: were one step ahead of the enemy now. You are not going ageist this evil way of life, and you are now willing to help us destroy this evil satanic school of witchcraft. This will truly cripple Stan _(I think I finished the song. Aww __)_ We need to find out what they are doing and punished them, for they have sinned for too long and rejected our lord Jesuit Christ, the only forgotten don of the one tire God, and our lord and saviors!

"I tell you that the end is near, and although false profits have lied to to you, this time it is the truth. God has told me to tell you that his planning to send all of us true Christians up to heaven, while leaving all the nonbeliebers to suffer the wrath of God, _(Any world without you two is a step up here) _ in which they will be boiled by fires, wars and paradox. _(It's a paradox!)_ And at the end, all of them will be dropped into the flames of hell. Here is what God told me, this will happen after 66 days after the false prediction made by the coward Harold Campo, and he is going to burn in hell as well! Behold the great day it will be! Mane and amen!

"And now i declare this meeting over, and congratulate every for tuning up to this god-fearing meting. Amen and mane." And everyone cheered at Jerry`s speech.

And well we talked to each other after the meeting, I noticed Draco talking to Ebony. After a while, Draco went up to me and said, "She looks pretty. I really want her as my wife. I will have to ask her out." (_No no no no no!)_

And I went back to my room at the end of the day, and I read more of the bible, in which I read the book of Revelations, and how God is about to punish everyone. I could not wait for the end of the word to happen.

Brasta Septim and Idiosy will be the first people to be punished under the once druse God his eternal son our lord Jesus Christ. Its is you that is trolling by spamming my storey with pointless reviews that are offensive to me. You should all be ashamed of ourselves! This is not a laughing matter, prepend now or face the fames of Jell! Stan will think twist about taking on God for God is much more powerful that him! And I am thinking about continuing my other Prayer Warrior storey. Amen and amen, May Jesus`s legacy last for ever and ever and ever. Mane and amen and amen! Just simply Believe!


	9. Chapter 9

_**Hi. I don't remember if I wrote a disclaimer, so here it is. I do not own Harry Potter, or the Prayer Warriors (for which I am forever thankful). Due to a review I got last night, I feel that I should point out that the regular type was not written by me, but was written by some weird kid who enjoys his religion way too much. The stuff in italics was written by me. Thank you to Ginerva76 for the nice review. You get a cookie! Oh, and I am accepting requests for other stories to write. Enjoy**_

How dare you hack into my account, you are as bas as those satanic scum that hacked into my original account. _(Whoever did this, you have our sincerest thanks)_ You will truly be sent to hell on the final judgement. You just as bad as Osama Bin Laden and the extremist Satanist Barrack Obama._ (Dafuq?)_ We should kick these liberal scums out of our schools and university, spreading liberals lies. Schools and university should only teach the way of our lorf Jesus Christ, and nothing else, for sciences and social studies corrupt minds._ (Then go to a Catholic school and get the heck away from the rest of us)_ Amen.

And I went to my next class, which was about planting plants, _(Also called Herbology)_ but I knew these plants were deadly and were used to poison Christians, so I poisoned them so that the plants died, but I didn't use any witchcraft by making poisonous potion using witchcraft, but making it the natural way God told us to do it, which is by knowing basic chemistry which is allowed by God for it is not witchcraft, but using Atoms, and because Atoms don't contradict God and his eternal son our lord and savior Jesus Christ, then it is real therefore not witchcraft, and with that potion I poisoned the poisonous plants that were going to be used to ill fellow Christians of mane, especially the Prayer Warriors back in the Holy United State of Godfearing_ (Or ignoring, or semi believing, or polytheistic, or…)_ America, and also the underground Christian movement in England, including at Hogwarts which I founded, and I was glad I poisoned the plant because I knew I had saved many lives and garreteer a place in heaven, for destroying atheists will protect us for the only thing an atheists wants to do is kill us Christians, _(or write fanfiction, or get ice cream, or hide from mowing the lawn)_ and make a mockery of us with disturbing stories such as the one Idiosy and Brasta Septim, you evil atheistic scum bags! (_This was only one sentence. If only English teachers could see…)_

I then went to potions class where ill earn that Hogwarts was making boobs, _(So, we have upgraded from breasts to boobs, good job.)_ but did not know what they were planning to do with them. I talked to Ginny and learnt that Rom was her sister. _(Then he and Harry can't be gay together. I was wrong)_ I also learned that Dumbledore let Harry Potter get away with a lot of things, such as leaving school and going somewhere else, but she did not tell me where he goes, but I assume he went onto secret missions to murder innocent Christians, how dare them do that!

And there was a school assembling. Dumbledore said in an evil voice: "I found this student that was both serving Satan and also to God, trying to make friends with both of them. _(So people of different religions cannot be friends? I guess I have to keep all my Dipin' Dots to my self)_ The only punishment is death." And for once I agreed with him. "We will hung, dry, and courted him! Hail Stash!"

And so we watched and cheered as a student named Noah was stoned to death. And we let his rot, for he was a traitorous and didn't deserve respect at all. (How dare you hack into my account, and support satanic scum. You are not real Christian, and you will burn in Hekla!)

And then I went to Dark Acts Practise where the students learnt to do a death spiel to kill innocent Christian. I pretended to do the spell but no one nitride me. I felt like publishing them, but knew that I could get caught if I did so. I then went to my room and said a prayer and then went to bed.

I am planning to write more to The Evil God. Amen.


	10. Chapter 10

This chapter will be from Draco`s point of view:

After being baptised by Michael, who is one of the best person I know, other than Jesus Christ of his my best friend ever. _(Ohhhhohhhhohh, caught in a bad Bromance)_ After coming up from the waters I feud new purpose in life, which was to live a true Christian life, and be god, and worship our lord and savior Jesus Christ of Narrative. When Jerry had come over from the holey United States of America he had be turned into a prayer warrior so that I could spread the Gospel throughout England, and teach the evilness that is Anglicanism.

And at that meeting I saw a very pretty grill, _(was it made of stainless steel?)_ with blonde hair and golden white skin. Her hair was tied back in a Christian manner, and she man sure that she was not taller than any man. _(So, she was less than 26 inches tall. Just sayin')_ She wore a green dress that didn't show her knees. Her eyes were limpid blue, and she did not ware any lipstick.

"Hello" I said.

"Hello" she said.

"Want to go out" I asked.

"Yes" she said. _(Sigh, if only life were that simple)_

"Let's go to a Christian rock concert which happen tomorrow. Jars of Clay are planning in the nearby town of Portsmouth. Want to go with me?" I assed her.

"Jars of Clay are my favorite, of course I will go with you" she said. "By the way, my name is Ebony." _No! The horror!)_

And so I met her the next day and we went to the convert. Family Force Five were the support act. While in the care we read verses from the Bible, and Jerry, Mary and Hadgrid came with us, so they helped us read the Bible and analyse it, and proof that it is true.

We then came to the convert, we sat down, for moshing was satanic, and no one did it. We listened to Family Force Five play, and then we waited for Jars of Clay to come on stag. So we read more of the bible. And then Jars of Clay. I noticed Ebony varying.

"What is wrong" I asked jerk

"Dan Haseltine is cutch a good singer, but he is not as hot as you" she said. _(Eww)_ She then kissed by in a Christian way. _(Which is different then in a French way. Wait, that actually made sense)_ And then we went to Hagrid`s hut after the convert and read some of the Bible. And then we kissed even more for I loved her very much, but we didn't do anything more than that, you sicko. _(You thought it, not me.)_ And then we went back to the school and I went to bed.


	11. Chapter 11

This is from Michael's point of view:

The day before the concert, Hagrid asked me to read to him one of the prayers I had written a few days ago. He as very much interested in it. And because it was in Latin, he wanted to hear it even more. So all day I practised it, resaying my lines over and over again. And then I went over to Hargit`s house, he does not live in a house ok. _(Wait, what?)_ And he became a Christian because he was annoyed at Dumbledore and his ignorant ways. All atheists are ignorant and irrational fools that always jumps to conclusions. _(Ignorant and irrational, no. Jump to conclusions, probably slightly more accurate)_

"Hello my fellow worshiper in Christ, I am gleeful that you have come to give me a private lesson in my house, for any Christian house is a god-fearing house and suited to teach the ways of the our lord and savior Jesus Christ, the only begotten son of the one true God of Israel. This is truly a Christian Church. I am thankful for you giving your speech yesterday. It was truly inspirational" said Hagrid.

And then I said, then I must teach you a great prayer God once told me in a dream. It is in Latin, but because you know Latin you will understand every single word, but any atheist that reads it are dumb and wont realise its true meaning, especially the Satanic church of England. Here it goes:

_Sequereveram esse viamunius veri Dei  
Numquampeccare insancta conversatione  
Verumenimetdiabolusest iniquitas maxima  
Punirepeccantes,omnisflammamerentur  
Tu mihisolatium, maximum luxsemper  
Mortuus esmihiincruce, ita ut vivamus  
Ultra morteminmundumvester caelestis  
In finali judiciocumvinceseleganti. Amen. (I don't speak Latin, but with the three different translation websites that I used, I still don't understand. Can anyone assist?) _

"And last night God told me another message, far greater than the one he told me before, and this one will comfort you even more for it details that doom that all sinners will face. It is the greatest thing I have ever heard God say:

_Malumscholaveneficiacorruet  
Fietvobismoxcredentibus  
Postvictoriamiudiciumveniet dies  
Vicesimo sexto_ _Iuliidies illares redit, ut  
Paradieet dolensiubetDeus  
Solusibitfidelisaeternacaeli  
Allpeccatoresin infernum eat  
Et faciemiraDei omnipotentis. Amen._

"And so that was all the God has told me. I can truly tell you that your dream will come true in due time. _(Didn't Dumbledore say it does no good to dwell on dreams?) _ Judgement day is very soon, and through this prayer you will understand all. Jesus Christ will come down and punish all nonbelievers. But before that, Hogwarts will full! Behold it is already crumbling. I have Ginny at my grip, and soon she will spill the beans, _(Who, besides people over 30 or 35, says this?)_ and teach me how to get into Dumbledore`s office and find out his Satanic Plans."

And Hagrid says: "I have been comforted. Now go and be safe! Amen!"


	12. Chapter 12

I can speak Latin! _(But the rest of us can't)_ You don't have to lecture me over it, and it didn't use a translator! I am catholic so I now what I am talking about._ Oh, well, I sorry I doubted you)_ And I not copying anyone, this is all original, because stealing someone's else's idea is against God`s laws. _(And most of man's too. Plagiarism can apparently get you kicked out of college, or so says my crazy English teacher)_ And don't you dare get involved with my brother, he is dangerous and will corrupt your mind with liberal lies. _(May we please speak to him? Pretty please?)_He is somewhere in Kansas City, so if you come across him, tell me where he is so I can teach him a lesson in God`s wrath to nonbelievers!

While Draco and Ebony were at the Christian Rock Concert, I was in the library looking for some more information on any plans for attack on Christians, but I could not find any more information, so I suspected that it was in Dumbledore`s office. So I gave up, and decided to look for any clue to get into Dumbledore`s office, for they could a key or something in the library which could unlocked the door to Dumbledore`s office, _(a word, not a key, a word)_ and then I will be able to find plans about how to stop Dumbledore and his satanic crusade.

And then came Harry Potter who looked very pleased with himself. He went up to me and said, "Don't you dare go anywhere near my Ginny. I know you want to have satanic sex with her, _(I'm still confused to what that is)_ but she is my satanic whore not yours._ (Ginny is kind of a bamf, so just back off.)_ If I see you with her ever again I will tell Dumbledore and his will torture you!" And he laughed a crawl satanic laugh and walked away. I kept researching into how get my way into Dumbledore`s offices.

And then I heard a massive explosion that came from the toilets. So I went to the toilets and I realised that Ginny had been blown up._(No! You were my favorite Weesely!)_ I saw peace of her bodies here and there, and I was sure I had seen the top part of her head and peace of her black painted fingers. I was very annoyed from someone had realised that someone had realised about me trying to use Ginny to get into Dumbledore`s office. I hated that person and wanted to get revenge on them for killing the only link to Dumbledore and stopping an attack on Christians. And so I left the body where it was for I didn't think she deserved to be buried in any form for she was a satanic scum and deserved what she got.

I then went back to my bedroom. Not before long, Draco and Ebony came back, and I told them about Ginny being blown up. Draco was glad because he hated that satanic whore. We discussed further plans to get into Dumbledore`s office, but could think of any for the only link to knowing how to get into Dumbledore`s office at all. And so we read the Bible, especially the First Letter to the Corinthians chapter 13, but also read about how David defeated Goliath and how we were like him defeating the mighty Hogwarts. And so I went to bed. Ebony went to her room for Draco and Ebony where not married yet. _(Didn't they meet like, yesterday?)_

Itaque præter res coepi agnoscere te malum maxime unquam potest. Quomodo audes vocas at mi fidelis fuisti atheos et gravius esse unquam. Tu vero adolebit in inferno propter peccata vestra Deo concedunt nunc ineo atheos regna caelorum. Non mi frater!

Omnes enim qui clamas fidelibus sed te putas caelum veniunt ex bono opere, hoc est mendacium. Solum fidem in unum verum Deum liberent te et populum dicendo iram si non accipies eum Deus. Ego ibit ad coelum et ego bono opere omnia admoneo peccandi poena non paenitebit. Salvari paenitentiam domino et salvatoris Iesu Christi narratione quam in cruce pro peccatis nostris? Amen fiat. _(Translation, anyone?)_


	13. Chapter 13

This is from Draco`s point of view:

And Michael called for a meeting between us Christians among Hogwarts. And we discussed about the matter of Ginny and who could know what had happened. I couldn't believe what had happened to Ginny, but I never liked her anyway. She was a whore and had sex with her brother all the time. _(A: I thought she had standards B: I thought Ron was now a girl)_ She made me feel sick and was glad that she was gone.

And Michael said to us, "Finally the whore is dead, but do not rejoice for it is a blessing on Stan`s (_aww hamburgers! I know Butters says this, but still)_ behalf. We need a new link to Dumbledore. The only other person I can think of is Harry Potter, but no one wants to put themselves forward."

And then Ebony said, "I will put myself forward if that is what you wish from me. I will serve the lord and savior Jesus Christ by putting myself into the arms of Harry Potter so that I can get the key to be able to get into Dumbledore's office. I know it will send me to hell doing such thing, but if it is for the gory of our lord, then be it, I will do as you comment."

And Michael said, "I am glad someone put themselves forward. I will look for any other ways, but while I am doing that, you must find any information from Harry Potter, even if it means sleeping with him, but don't worry, God will forgive you for such sinful acts, for it is doing the benefit him that is above, and his heavenly song, our lord and savior Jesus Christ of Narrative."

I, Draco, could not believe what I was hearing, "How dare you let this innocent girl walk straight to hell. God will not allow such an act to be let into heaven. I love her berry much, and I plead to you to not let her do such a thing."

And Michael said me in such lovingly Christian manner, "I will not let her get into harm's way."

And Ebony said, "He knows what he is doing." _(I'm terrified that he does)_

I was very angry and feeling in such a Satanic mood that I ran off. I went to the forest and started to scream. How dare they do such a thing? I could not believe what Michael wanted doing. I wanted to pray to God for he could answer my problems, but no one answered. I screamed and scream yet there was not relying. Suddenly an evil looking person appeared.

He said, "My name Voldemort and I want you to doing something for me. I want you to kill Michael _(not a bad idea…)_ for if he manages to kill Dumbledore and destroy Hogwarts then I have nothing to fight for. If you refuse to kill Michael I will kill Ebony. _(So it's a win/win situation. Sweet)_And I am being serious!" And he blew off.

And I was really scared and didn't know what to do. Who was this person and how could I get out of the mess that I was in. I wanted to find a way out of the situation that I was in but couldn't. Not even our lord Jesus Christ savior of all answered to me. And I was all alone.

THE WORLD IS GOING TO END ON JULY THE SIXTEENTH, TWO THOUSAND AND ELEVEN. _(and yet, we are still here)_ CONFESS THAT YOU ARE A SINNER AND BELIEVE THAT OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST DIED ON THE CROSS FOR YOUR SINS! IF YOU DON'T


	14. Chapter 14

This chapter returns to Michael's point of view.

I was very shocked when Draco suddenly walked out Hagrid`s house during the meeting, but he must have bee angry at Ebony`s decision to make friends with Harry Potter. He did not return at any point during the night, so I let it be. And so went to Ebony and I said blessing to her, making sure that God will pretext her. She looked worried but knew that she had to do this mission. And so I said a prayer to her, which made her a Prayer Warrior, the first woman to ever become a Prayer Warrior, such a historic event: _(Wait, wasn't Mary and her one friend a Prayer Warrior)_

_Hocmulierumbenedicentur in tesimilitudinem  
Itaquepotestquodtegebatur tuachrist  
Peccabitquesed illiin magnaomnium nostrum  
Post _

_  
Cumaeterni judiciifitinvigesimo sextoJulii  
Mitteturcælumsicutvere fideliserat enimbona  
Iesum _

_At ilianon peccabis, neque dormiet inlectoex stupro  
Osculanon   
Nemininon intelligitmitteminiincaelo etinfernofoueas  
Deusestjustus, etpropitiatio, etintelligetcausae _

_Egoutilitatemdomini etlicebitutiaeterni iudicii  
Vosmosservo ineburdieiudiciiquodpropediem  
Gaudeteerisunusmultorumsalvus essetum  
Sed memento,multiexlaederene voscredere _

_Cum potestatedata est mihi aDomini Saluatoris  
UnigenitusDeus solusdeJesu Christihistoria  
: itasapienteruti  
Tusempermulieribus inobtinuititabenedicere. Amen._

And so I let her do her mission. And a few minutes later, Hagrid came to me and said, "Jerry of Christ tells me that he wants to me you. He is at my house at this current moment. Please move quickly, for he needs to be off soon."_ (Get out of Britain!)_

And so I followed Hagrid to his house (he does not live in hut). _(Yeah he does.)_ And I went up to Jerry who was sitting at a table and said to him, "What was it that you wished to talk to me about. I am in distressed for things have not gone to plan. Read credere ad salutem dicere read votis dicere credo."

And Jerry said, "I have found a portal to another world in this evil school. I fear it is not be converting to the ay of Christ. I want want you to send someone to this world to help save this world. I fear that Dumbledore and his evil army has got here before us. The portal is in the library."

I decided to leave this for tomorrow for it was a long day. I will be writing a new story called The Prayer Warrior: A Kingdom Under Shadow. _(Yay! Star Wars)_

Remember, the world is going to end on July the twenty six, so repent and be saved. Amen and amen. Benedicite quod beati sunt. Ut dimittas dimittimus. Animadvertit opus illud supplicium. Numquam prodest irrideat Domini.

**Now I'm really excited to finish this, because the next one I'm doing is Star Wars! (Which, if you didn't notice, I enjoy.) So, yeah. Please review? Pretty please?**


	15. Chapter 15

That is all a lie! Benry is not Believer In Christ, I am Believer in Christ you fools! Benry is most likely the foul hacker that hacked into my account. He is a untrusting lire and must be coned. _(I'm getting an image of the Cone of Shame from Up)_ He will be the first person to burn in hell! He is a sinner like not other sinner! Curse him and his family to be raped _(That's a bit far)_ and cut to peace's and thrown into the glams of O'Dell! _(What?)_ To all you others fools, such as Idiosy, for plotting against me, you be punished by being sent to the lowest pits of hell, right next to Satan! Amen and mane.

I then went to library to find if there was anymore information on a key to get into Dumbledore`s office. I found out that they were five keys, given to his most trusted followers. It did not list anyone, but I guessed where on of them was, with the body of Ginny. Another two keys must be with Harry and Ron. Where the last two keys were I did not know.

So I went to the grave of Finny. _(Possibly a nickname of Finick?)_ I threw her boy out of the coffin for Satanists did not deserve to get a respectable burial. Only a Catholic respect such a burial, and not an Anglican for they are actually Satanist in disguised. _(Come on now, lets all be friends)_ And in her disgusting pocket I found a dark green silver key that looked very evil. I covered a blessed cloth over it, and prayed that I can be protected from its evil, and then put it in my pocket. I left her body where it was.

I then went back to the library, but I could not look for anymore information. I stayed there anyway, looking for the identity of the key holders, but I was a hundred percept sure that Harry Potter and his gay lover Ron _(I thought he was a she!)_ had two of the keys, for they were the most satanic person and devilish gits ever to ever exist, curse them, along with Idiosy and Benry you satanic fools, trying to take me on! A Hogwarts student walked into me, she had dyed black hair, and she was evil looking. She looked like a paedophile. _(most students there were under 18…)_

And she said, "Hello, my name is Harmony, and I am a hardcode Pianist. _(I always enjoyed piano music)_ I live to worship Satan all the time and say very satanic things, such as Hail Stan! I want to be your boyfriend. I also like to say very satanic Poems in French, which is a really satanic language: _(It's the language of love! And, although France the person is scary as hell (pardon the religious reference, it's just a saying) the country has produced many fine things)_

_J'aimevoirles mamansont des rapports sexuels  
aveceux-mêmesetavec lesautresthatspas le mari  
J'aimeavoir des relations sexuellesau moinstrois fois  
Unjour,il esttrèssataniqueetm'envoyeren enfe_r _(This is yet another time I wish I took French)_

"What do you thin of it?" she assed e.

I lied, and because if I said that I like it God will send me to hell so he would forgive me for lying because I didn't want to blow my cover, "I like it, keep it up."

And she said, "She you latter. Next time I wills how you aced that Dumb Door aver me." And she went away, very satanically. I hated that whore, but knew I had to be friendly with her to get that key from her.

And I went to Hugrid`s place where he showed me some false Christians that had been very unfaithful who were called Idiot and Benjamin, who I declared deserved death, and a painful on at that. And so I got a sword and impaled into Idiot, and got them to burn his body. I then cut up Benjamin`s body while he was alive, and then feed it to Hagrid`s god. I then pissed on their bodies and laughed, _(This is lovely. Once again, I wish there was a sarcastic font)_ for they deserved this publishment. Amen and mane.

**WARNING: THE WORLD WILL END ON JULY THE TWENTY SIXTH SO REPENT NOW AND BE SAVED! AMEN AND MANE! **_(I can attest to the fact that it won't)_

**Monitio:ENDmundiIuliivicesimo sextoSONOWPOENITEOet salvare? Et ZeusAmen!**

**AVERTISSEMENT: la fin du mondeJUILLETLAVINGT-SIXIEMESOrepentir maintenantet vous serez sauvés! AMENETMANE!**

**ADVERTENCIA: El mundo se acabaráDE JULIODELVIGÉSIMOSEXTOtanto, arrepiéntete ahorayser salvo! AMENYMANE!**

**ACHTUNG: Die Welt wird im Juliam beendenund gespeichert werden! AMENund Mähne!**

**ΠΡΟΣΟΧΗ: ο κόσμος θα τελειώσειτον Ιούλιοεικοστή έκτηSOΜΕΤΑΝΟΗΣΟΥΜΕΤΩΡΑΚΑΙΝΑΖΗΣΕΙ! AMENΚΑΙχαίτη!**

**RABHADH: BEIDHANDOMHANARDEIREADHLEIS ANIúilrepentIS FICHE AR ANSÉÚSOANOISAGUSASábháilte! AmenAGUSmane!**

**WAARSCHUWING: De wereld zalnu een eindeIn juliop de zesentwintigsteSObekeren engered worden!AMENen manen!**

**AVÈTISMAN: lemonn p'apfini nanJIYÈvenrepantisizyèm lanSOkoulye a akpou sove! AMENAKchevlur!**

**ВНИМАНИЕ:мир закончитсяИЮЛЯдвадцать шестойТАКпокайтесь сейчаси не спаслись! АМИНЬи гриву!**

**RHYBUDD: HUGAINSOedifarhauNAWRACYNCADW'r! AMENAmwng!**

**ATENCIÓN: sextoAGORASOse arrepinte esergardado! Ameno eMané!**

**UPOZORENJE: svijet ćezavršiti sesadai biti spašeni! AMENIgriva!**

Translated in all the major languages so that the message could understand my all! Amen and amen. I bless you all as a profit of the one true God, and our lord and savior Jesus Christ of Narrative! Bless you all. Amen. And may all the sinners that sinned against me be punished with eternal flames of Jell!


	16. Chapter 16

_**Sorry everyone, I did not mean to take this long to update. Unfortunately, I have that pesky little thing called school (only eight more days, yay!) Well, that and the laptop that I use to write these things has been dead and uncooperative the past week and a half. Yeah, so, enjoy.**_

Thomas Brown: Damn ye hackers, burn ye to hell!  
Jesus Christ: Ye agree with ye, and I will do as you ask for. Ye have sinned against my holey prophet and the only punishment suiting despicable evil little weaklings is the flames of the sinners favourite place, right at home with their lovely Satan, deep in the depth of Hell, where their skins will rot, and living flesh will rip of their disgusting body. Ye have done my bidding by warning ye heathens.  
Thomas Brown: And what is your warning to those heathens?  
Jesus Christ: Ye shall burn in hell if ye choose to follow the path of evil by hacking into accounts. _(Ah yes, I forgot. In the ten commandments it said "Thou shall not hack")_  
Thomas Brown: The biggest warning, I am not Idiosy, nor am I Benry, they are rapists and Satan worshiping demons sent by Satan to deceive us from the rightful path of Christ.  
Jesus Christ: You speak wisely my son.  
Thomas Brown: Disclaimer, I do not own the Bible for God owns that.

**Ebony Sleeps With Harry**___(This is going to be really gross, isn't it?)_

Slowly and very sneakily, she went to the main hall, where she noticed Dumbledore snoring in his sleep saying, "I`m going to kill ye Christian! Kill them all! Stan." What he was saying made no sense, _(out of everything in this fanfic, that probably made some of the most sense)_ so Ebony ignored it and continued. She had walked pass this place many times before, but she knew that this might be the last time she made this journey. She pleased about this, she could not stand this Satanic school, it should be burnt to the ground and no other student should have to take this path, but instead take a different path at a holy Christian Catholic School, not one of those Anglican school, founded by the Satan King Henry the Eight _(who apparently started a war with France to ease the grief of the death of his two month old son.)_ and his whore of a wife Katherine, much like William and Kate, who are also whores. _(GTFO)_

"Hello," there said a voice from behind her. It was Ron. He had grown his ginger hair pretty long, showing his Scottish Viking decedent (and making Ebony fearful of her), _(Ron goes through so many gender changes)_ and he wore a cotton coat.

"I am sorry of the death of your sister," Ebony lied. She hated that whore, going around trying to chat up as many boys as possible and hiring herself like a fucking whore, that bitch. _(Such profanity. For shame)_

"Thank-you, but my mother is surely going to have another daughter. She told me last night that she was pregnant through telekinetic links between us all, _(The only two who should have that are Fred and George)_ a blessing of Satan, how great he is," he said. She hoped she had a miscarriage. Ron`s father was most likely not the father of her baby.

"I want to see Harry," she said. "I have a gift for him." He smiled, misunderstanding this as sex for Harry, but in reality he was about to have judgement in front of a Prayer Warrior, where she was about to send him to the flames of hell.

"I take you to him. He was get pleasure from you, but not as much pleasure from me," he said pleasingly. She followed him down the corridor. He opened the door, and said, "Enter."

"Please, can we keep this private?" she asked. "I am shy in front of other men." _(Reading this is so awkward)_

"I was when I did it first," he said. "But if you wish to do it alone with him, I will let you do so."

Once Ebony had entered, Ron stayed outside. He read the Satanic bible written by the scum named Anton LaVey, and man so evil he is rotting in the deepest chambers of hell, where Hitler, Osama, and liberal president Kennedy. _(Leave the poor man alone)_ After a few minutes, Ebony opened the door, closed it, and then left. Ron waited there for a while, but felt it was strange that Harry wasn't there. So he opened the door, and looked inside. There he saw the dead body of Harry. He fell to his feet, realising that one of the keys had been taken. Suddenly, a knife was stabbed into his heart.

"I cannot keep you alive, seeming that you witness this rime," Ebony said. "I hope you rot in hell." And everything went black.

Jesus Christ: That was a very good chapter. It is very well written.  
Thomas Brown: I am glad you liked it.  
Jesus Christ: Thankful. Ignore those sinners; they will one day see their moment of justice. Amen to all!  
Thomas Brown: I like to also thank all those dedicated readers for reading this great piece of fan-fiction. I will write some more soon.


	17. Chapter 17

Jesus Christ: So what have you offer us today, my son?  
Thomas Brown: Some very amazing. Three keys have been found so we are near to the end sadly. But fear not, I will write another fan-fiction named Kingdom Under Shadow, and a sequel to The Evil God. _(I can't wait to get started)_  
Jesus Christ: I will be delighted to read that. What else have you to say?  
Thomas Brown: I wasn't referring to you Brasta Septim but the hackers Idoisy and Benry. If you cannot work that one out, then you are very stupid. None of your comments are valid.  
Jesus Christ: He will be punished in due time.

**The Fourth Key**

Michael gouging away at his meal, with his golden locks spread out. He was eating a massive steak, but not bacon, not that disgusting filthy shit. _(Y_ou _did __**not**__ just insult bacon)_ He looked up as he saw Ebony place two keys onto his table. She straightened the bun on top of her head, making sure her hair didn't fell out.

_But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that. For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be. -1 Corinthians 11:5-6 (Ah yes, the biblical quotes are back. Lovely.)_

Michael took his hat off and stared at Ebony. "So you were able to get it from them?" he asked. Ebony nodded, with a big grin. Michael could tell that Ebony was pleased with herself. "I assume that is a yes." _(What the heck else could it be?)_

"Yes, my master," she said. "I did the great work for God and it has made me feel better about myself. I even cleaned this school of the menace Harry Potter and that homosexual git Ron from this school forever. At this current moment Dumbledore and his satanic Army are burying them. At your order, I will be eager to dig them up again, cut their body up, and spread it across the school. It will give a message to those scum bags." She looked very satisfied at what she done, and Michael was glad of that.

Michael got out of his chair, and stood up, so that he could be higher than Ebony. Women should be submissive in front of men, for we were created first. Women were created for our rib so they should owe us their lives for us being responsible to their creation. _(I ever so missed the blatant sexism that the first story was so fond of. Now it's back.)_

_And Adam gave names to all cattle and to the fowl of the air and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found a mate for him. and the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; and the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. –Genesis_

"So what do you wish to be rewarded with? You have proven yourself equal with us as a prayer warrior, and very skilled at honouring our lord. So say whatever you want and I will grant it," said Michael.

"Please grant marriage between Draco and I. We love each other very much and want to grow seeds in our garden. This is the right time to grow trees that grow very tall," Ebony asked her, hoping that he would say yes. Michael thought to himself a minute or so, before nodding his head. "Thank-you," said Ebony, "You are truly magnificent. I will marry him now."

"You are welcome," said Michael. "But before you go, I need to tell you something very important. I fear I know where the fourth key is. Hermione Jean Granger was a very good acquaintance with Harry Potter and was at his funeral. I saw her sitting next to Dumbledore. It is whispered that he has sex with her, which is nauseating, that fucking paedophile. He is really old, and she is only seventeen." _(I am so confused)_

"So what do you ask of me now?" Ebony asked outlandishly.

"After you marry Draco, and do it," Michael explained to her, "go to Hermione and get that key off of her, and bring it back to me. I don't care if it means sending her to the same grave as Harry Potter, but I want that key now, do you understand me." _(Wow, Michael is getting harsh)_

"Yes, my master," she said. She then walked off. She met Draco at Hagrid`s Hut, which had an underground extension to hold church services. They asked Hagrid, who agreed, to marry them.

"So you take this women to be your lawful and god-fearing wife," Hagrid asked Draco.

"Yes, I will," Draco replied.

"Then I pronounce you Husband and women," _(Wife, you idiot. Have you never been to a wedding?)_ said Hagrid. "You can now kiss your bribe."

And after they kissed, they went back to their room. Draco and Ebony removed skin from an onion. After that, they put Draco`s noodles into Ebony`s bowl, and Draco then planted some seeds into Ebony`s pot, _(That sounds so wrong.)_ and then they laid on their bed for the rest the night. They were very tired from all that hard work. _(Am I missing something?)_

_My beloved put in his hand by the hole of the door, and my bowels were moved for him. I rose up to open to my beloved; and my hands dropped with myrrh, and my fingers with sweet smelling myrrh, upon the handles of the lock. –Songs 5:4-5_

_Wash thyself therefore, and anoint thee, and put thy raiment upon thee, and get thee down to the floor: but make not thyself known unto the man, until he shall have done eating and drinking. And it shall be, when he lieth down, that thou shalt mark the place where he shall lie, and thou shalt go in, and uncover his feet, and lay thee down; and he will tell thee what thou shalt do. –Ruth 3:3-4_

_Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins, which feed among the lilies. –Songs 4:5 (Were all of those quotes supposed to be their wedding night? Eww)_

The next day, Ebony went to Hermione Jean Granger room. She opened it, and saw Hermione Jean Granger putting make up on, something God forbids. This made Ebony spew inside her mouth, but to hide her disgust, she swallowed her vomit. It didn't taste all that nice, but she kept talking as if nothing had happened at all.

"Give me that key," Ebony demanded, "or be punished on behalf of the glory of God. Prepare to face justice!"

"Please claim down, you can have the key," she said. Hermione Jean Granger handed the key to Ebony Brown. "I want to become a Christian. Please show me the rightful path." _(No Hermione, don't do it!)_

"Then go to Hagrid`s hut," Ebony said.

"I will go there now," said Hermione Jean Granger. And she left the room with Ebony, and they went to the Hagrid`s hut where they met Michael.

"This person wants to become a Christian," said Ebony. "Where should I take her? Should I baptise her for I know what to do. I am a prayer warrior, and should be well equipped to do things such as this." She hoped to do it, but she was wrong. Women are not allowed to baptise people. Baptising people is only reserve for men.

"I will do it women. Do not try and disturb a sacred ritual. I do not want you to ruin it," yelled Michael angrily._(Harsh) _ He dragger Hermione Jean Granger to the lake and baptised her. "No go. I don't think you deserve it. I think you are lying. But because Ebony trusts you, I will give you another chance. Now go satanic bitch." _(Whoa. I do believe that the author was PMSing the day he wrote this)_

Thomas Brown: I put a lot into that chapter.  
Jesus Christ: I can tell so, well done.  
Thomas Brown: I will end at the twentieth chapter so I can write a sequel to The Evil Gods. Amen to all!


	18. Chapter 18

_**Dear beloved readers,**_

_Lately, I have not been interested in writing anything of this great fanfiction. There have been people that have tried to plot against me, one of them is Idiosy, who is not me! And Benry the Confessor is not me. They are all livers! Benry was the first person to hack me account, and Idiosy is the second person to hack my other account. This is my third and final account. I have made me account unpossible to hack. Buy anyway, I am back and I am her to spread the gospel the lord our lord Jesus Christ! Amen amaze! I am planning to finish the great fanfiction and start a new one, which will be a sequel to my other Fanfiction The Evil God. I hope this time that I will get lots of good reviews from good Christian men! God bless you! God bless Americana! Convert all that are poor so that they can understand the wonders of our lord and god Jesus Christ! And burn all bores concerning twitch craft, including the evol book Harry Potter! That fail thing!_

_And so a recap of everything that has happened so far: Ebony has gotten permission to marry Draco, and she has baptized Hegemony so that she does not live a sinful death due to practising witchcraft, but she has concerted now so she will be safe. And now Micheal and Ebony, with the help of Draco and his army, will face the evil Satanist Dumbledoor, and finally rid the world of the evil Harry Potter and Hogarts!_

**Chapter Eighteen**

"I feel so alice" said Ebony. She was wearing a pink pretty dress and a tied up hair in a Cary Christian manner. "I cannot wait to take on that evil twitch! _(I loved those books/movies)_ I really hate Dumbledore."

"So do I" said Draco. Because he had became a precast,_ (I honestly have no clue what this is) _he started to wear a precast suit. "He lets that stupid Harry Potter get way with a lot of stuff, including have sex with other men. How disgusting is that! I want to throw him off a building that old trash." _(Isn't Harry dead?)_

"Yes, I agree with you. Only a man and a women should have sex, and no one else. Those homosexual must pay for their ungodly sins. I too want to throw Dumbdore off a bridge just so that I can see him die very painfully!"

And so they read the bible reading about how David, although small, took on the very big Goliath ant won and this was due to being a gift from God and worshiping him nonstop. How great would it have felt to be David on that great day, serving our lord Jesus Christ for a gospel cause.

_When a righteous man doth turn from his righteousness, and commit iniquity, and I lay a stumbling-block before him, he shall die: because thou hast not given him warning, he shall die in his sin, and his righteousness which he hath done shall not be remembered.-Ezekiel 3:20_

"It is time to face the emergency" said Michele, who was standing taller than usual, for god had given him special powers to make him look far more important than any other man in the room, and make women knee to their feet! _(I don't think you quite grasp the human anatomy)_ "And I like to say a very little prayer so that it van protect us on our lovely night as we kill that bastard:

"_Dear God, please protect us on our night of need. We need every little help that we can get. We have served you through the thin and thick and we believe now that it is time for you to help us in our quest to rid this world of Hogwarts, Dumbledore, Hairy Potter, Twitchcraft, and atheists! We will sacralise at your alter afterwards. Please bless us, like you did by giving us your son and our lord, God`s only forgotten son, Jesus Christ of Narrative. Amen and man."_

And so they went out to gave the nonbelievers. They were truly prepared with their keys to unhook Dumb Delores _(Who?)_ office and defeat him once and for all.

_Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as unto Christ.-Ephesians 6:5_

And we went to the office of Dumbledore, and we unlocked it and went in. the image we were about to see would sacred anyone for life. It was Dumbledore doing it with Harry Potter. (_Wasn't he dead?)_ Finally the rumours we true. _(Interesting enough, he is right. J. K. Rowling intended Dumbledore to be gay.)_

"Okay, so I have sex with little boys, so what?" he said. _(That's incredibly creepy)_

I was really mad at him that I ran at him and I graphed him, _(was he quadratic or linear? Sorry, Algebra finals. Math on the brain)_ and I knocked him off the roof, we me still hold him. I knew my life was complete when I feel to the ground. I saw white light, and then I saw Jesus. I was dead, and I had sacrificed my life for Jesus. _(He's dead? Alright!)_Dumbledore was in hell burning!


	19. Chapter 19

Jesus: I am glad that you decided to right more chapters. You do e well.  
Thomas: I am grateful. Thank you.  
Jesus: Yes, I accept your thank you.  
Thomas: And I also like to say sorry to my brother Noah, who I have said some very bad things to. I am glad that you have finally seen the light against. _(Noah, we had such high hopes for you)_  
Jesus: He is forgiven.

**Chapter Nineteen**

Note: The reason why that person had knock Dumbledore off the building was because he was a 6 feet and seven itches tall. He was a random character that turned out that he was there at the time to knock that witch off that building.

Behold, we stood around the body od Dumbledore, who`s blood was spilling everywhere. Thomas started to kick his head, and he said "The thing is dead. Now lets burn his body, so that there is not chance for him to rises up again on the last judgement"

"Yes, I agree with you Michele" _(Gender switch, again?)_ said Ebony. "I will help you with burning his body"

"No sad Michele I will burn the body alone for there is lots of evil here that could kill a women. Only a man is strong enough to get rid of this evil I will burn the body with the help of drake" So Enoby when back to the cattle. _(Don't you love that misogynistic attitude?)_

And so Michele made Harry Potter_ (Dead?)_ do a spell to burn dumb doors body because there was no way to make a fire ad harry potter was the only person there that could do magic without there being punishment seeming that Harry Potter was going to burn in hell anyway. And so we watch the body burn with Harry Plotter. I laughed. Harry was a week ling, crying over an evil man. It wont be long before he died too. And he will lie on the ground to rot.

_For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind.-James 3:7 (Unicorns. Your mind has been blown)_

_[This quote means that everything can be tamed, even those filthy nonbelievers and Muslims (Mudhubbid was never a follower of God and our lord Jesus Christ, but a worshiper of a false god Allah. He is burning in hell at the moment and he is nothing like me. I am holy). Draco and Hegemony have been tamed, and if Harry Potter had converted, he would be tamed. Now he must face the punishments of the eternal flames of jell]._

_He that doubteth is damned... For whatever is not of faith is sin.-Romans 14:23_

_[Because Harry Potter doubted the lord Jesus Christ and God`s true power, Harry will be punished because he didn't not believer, therefore a sin. He will burn in hell along with Dumb door]._

_The LORD thy God hardened his spirit, and made his heart obstinate, that he might deliver him into thy hand.-Deuteronomy 2:30_

"I am undefeatable" said Harry Potter. "I will not go easy" He did a satanic spell and then disappeared.

"We will se abort that" said Ebony as she kicked about the ashes of doorstep.

Jess: That was a very good chapter. I cannot wait to see what happens next.  
Thomas: then stay in tune for the exit chapter where we defeat Hogwarts once and for all. Amen.


End file.
